It’s been 10 years since my first blog post. And I’ve probably written 10 posts. At 5:30 AM, after being awake since about 3:30, I’m feeling the need for #11ish.

[EDIT: This is actually post #23! I underestimated myself.]

In 2019, what does “friend” mean?

Merriam Webster
friend noun
\ ˈfrend \
Definition of friend (Entry 1 of 2)
1a : one attached to another by affection or esteem
She’s my best friend.
b : ACQUAINTANCE
2a : one that is not hostile
Is he a friend or an enemy?
b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group showbiz friends
3 : one that favors or promotes something (such as a charity) this trend has alarmed friends of the liberal arts — Raymond Walters
The friends of the library will host a fund-raiser.
4 : a favored companion
5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war — called also Quaker

friend verb
friended; friending; friends
Definition of friend (Entry 2 of 2)
transitive verb
1 : to act as the friend of : BEFRIEND
2 : to include (someone) in a list of designated friends on a person’s social networking site

Urban Dictionary
1 friend
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.
A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn’t mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.
A friend is someone who not only doesn’t care if you’re ugly or boring, but doesn’t even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don’t know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you’re being stupid, but who doesn’t make you feel stupid.
A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you.
A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don’t even think about who’s talking or who’s listening in a conversation with a friend.
A friend is someone for whom you’re willing to change your opinions.
A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn’t matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.
A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.
The word “friend” comes from Old English “frēond”, which is actually the present participle of “frēogan”, which means “to love” and “to honor”.
#pal#buddy#kith#comrade#chum

2 friend
A friend is someone who won’t lie to you. They respect you for who you are and make every moment with you count. Time with your friends should be fun and you shouldn’t have to change for them. Your friends should understand you and trust you. They help you with your problems and are always there when you are feeling down.
A friend cannot be replaced so don’t even try.
#loyal#trustworthy#fun#understanding#honest

3 friends
people who are aware of how retarded you are and still manage to be seen in public with you. people who make you laugh till you pee your pants. people who cry for you when one of your special items disappear. when you dont have enough money to get a ice cream, they chip in. knows all of your internet passwords. who would never make you cry just to be mean.
I think I have a lot of friends that would fit this perfectly.
#reatarded#public#laugh#diappear#money#& cry

4 Friends
What i thought i had
nathan and will were my best friends but they stabbed me in the back
#butt lick#ass fuck#toobagan#sixety nine#doggy style

5 Friend
A word that defines those you keep company with. A person that is, trusting, caring, and will stick with you through thick and thin. The one you can talk to about anything and they won’t judge you for it. Someone that when times are hard stands beside you saying “let’s do this.” The person that if no one else will, will stick up for you.
Sam: How’s it going Nick?
Nick: Not to good my Friend.
Sam: Why? What’s up man?
Nick: My girl just left, cars broke, can’t pay my rent now. Shall I go on?
Sam: Nah, alright let’s go get a beer and have a chat man, it’s on me.
#friend#amigo#chum#accomplice#fool

6 friends
no such thing. fictional creatures from mars.
dude i have a lot of friends
#fun#fake#surreal#dumb#bald

7 Friend
Somebody who comes to your house and eats all of your food, (cheetos, doritos, pizza, etc,) and also uses your stuff with their cheeto dust hands.
“hey man, what happened to all of your snacks?” “aw man, my friend came over”
#friend#friends#friendly

Interesting that Merriam Webster mentions social media, but Urban Dictionary does not. It does, however, have a number of variations on the word. Some of the best:
frienationshift
friemisis
frienabomber
frienaddict
frienaissance
friencest

The question is/questions are “Are you really friends when…”
…one doesn’t communicate with you for a long time, relative to how often you usually (used to) communicate?
…your whole relationship is via text?
…you’re going through a prolonged hard time, but they stop checking in with you after a while?
…they don’t see you because their lifestyle/job/school/family situation has changed?
…they don’t talk to you about something that’s bothering them about your friendship?
…they’re in town for 6 months after being away for a year and they’re “too busy” to see you?

Friendships change, morph, and sometimes drift away, especially at certain times of life. But I’m starting to see a pattern in my friendship history. And I don’t like it.

Do you know the stories behind these images? Don’t you think you should?

I hope whoever reads this will bear with me as I haven’t written in many, many years. So the tone and style seen here will change, morph, and hopefully develop. I will be experimenting and discovering as I ponder. I hope to use this blog as a vehicle to get all the stuff out of my head and be able to see it more clearly.

Recently helping my elderly parents for 3-4 years changed me in many ways. I became more assertive to get what was necessary for them. I learned so much about them and our relationships. And about me as a product of the two of them put together. Of course, I think about having taken them for granted for too long, as seems to happen to too many people. But I don’t dwell on that thought because I’m so thankful for what we became before each of them passed.

Mom died in 2004, and I continued to be the main driving force in Dad’s care. That time with him had a huge impact on me. We became buddies. And we had complete trust in each other. I’m seeing now that there are a lot of things I seem to only be able to get myself to do when it’s for someone else, rather than myself.

Having been in limbo since Dad died in 2007, I decided it might be helpful to write some of the random and abstract things in my head to try and make sense of them. Maybe then I can figure out where to go next.